If you have the thought that there has got to be more to life than this, I know exactly how you feel. This thought comes from nowhere and resets everything. It’s a milestone. It stirs things up. Life can never be the same once this idea appears. You can’t ignore it because it won’t let you. It will haunt you.
When you acknowledge this thought into your mind, know that this is a hint that you are not on the right path. You are somehow cheating yourself and the wind of change is waiting for you. It is the sign that your life is about to change dramatically and it helps you prepare for that. Sometimes a bigger force takes care of all the things and all you need to do is embrace the change. Sometimes you have to struggle and make the changes yourself. Either way, you got to have faith and courage.
I remember the day I first had this thought like it was yesterday. It made me question what my life was all about. Actually, this is how my journey began. That day marks the moment when my life shifted and I am so grateful I was inspired to write down all the feelings I had. It felt like waking up and seeing life and the world very different.
There has got to be more to life than this. It can’t all be about growing up, graduating from college, finding a job, making money, getting married and raising children. Something is missing. It doesn’t make sense. It’s too boring this way.
It was a cloudy December morning, a couple of years ago. I woke up at the same time as usual and I was getting ready to go to the office. From nowhere, in my mind blossomed a question, light as a mist: “Do you believe this job is your purpose on earth?”. The question stayed in my mind just for a moment and then vanished, leaving only its perfume behind.
I arrived at the office as always: late, running and went straight to the conference room. I was the Marketing Manager in one of the biggest companies in my country. My job was very glamorous: organizing events with top artists, fashion shows, marketing campaigns, cocktail parties and so on. I entered the room where the daily meeting with all the company’s managers was taking place. I sat in my chair and listened. Everything was the same, except a part of me saw the whole scene from above and whispered: “This is just a game. None of this matters!”. In that state, I listened to all the “problems” discussed there and I almost burst into laughter. All were insignificant things magnified by vanity. It felt like seeing adults playing like kids and taking it too seriously.
I returned to my office and I looked at my beautiful team. They asked me if I was ok. There was something different in my eyes. I sat at my desk and I wrote these words:
Something strange is happening to me… It’s like I’m searching for something and I can’t find it. Life can’t be only about this. This can’t be it. There has to be more to life than this. It can’t be all about growing up, graduating from college, finding a job, making money, getting married and raising children. Something is missing. It doesn’t make sense. There has to be something more. It’s too boring this way. I have the job I dreamed about and until now I identified myself with it. I thought it was all I wanted. But it’s not enough. I am more than this. Life is more than this. I have my part in making the world better than I found it.
In that moment I felt my life was about to change tremendously. I tried having conversations on this topic with other colleagues from work. Asking what meaning did they find in their jobs and if they felt the same about their legacy. They all laughed in my face and told me I am talking nonsense.
But for me, something shifted that day. Unexpectedly, my life as I knew it, started to fall apart. The wrong relationship I was in for the last years ended that same evening. My job began to be unbearable. At first, I was petrified and I suffered. But there was something bigger than me that was taking care of everything. Soon all the pieces began falling into place. The world and life itself revealed to me in such a new, wondrous way.
The day I got the thought that there has got to be more to life was the first day of what was about to become my year of solitude and transformation. The year in which I learned to love myself, be brave and redesign my life. Looking back at that chain of events always reminds me to trust the flow of life. Because even if back then felt like my life was breaking into pieces, in reality, it was just blooming.
So whenever the thought that there has got to be more to life than this appears in your mind, celebrate! Some people never get this sign and aren’t notified in such a clear way that they need to change their life. They continue to live on their autopilot function. But you, you are lucky! You are given the impulse to make a change!
Hugs,
Raluca
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